Friday, October 31, 2008

Joke Joke Joking...

What is Marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I am very rich. Marry
me!'
That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a
bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you
says, 'He's very rich. Marry him.'
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm very rich.
Marry me.'
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and
pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops
it, offer her a ride, and then say, 'By the way, I'm
very rich 'Will you marry me?'
That's Public Relat! ions.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, 'You are very rich, I
want to marry you.'
That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I'm rich. Marry me'
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.


Joke number 2..
One day at school,

Murid : Selamat pagi, cikgu.

Cikgu : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja? Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?

Murid : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!

Cikgu : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh bermakna. Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan.

Murid : Selamat sejahtera cikgu!

Cikgu : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik. Hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya, kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?


Murid : Faham, cikgu!

Cikgu : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.

Murid : (senyap)

Cikgu : Pandai!

Murid : Bodoh!

Cikgu : Tinggi!

Murid : Rendah!

Cikgu : Jauh!

Murid : Dekat!

Cikgu : Keadilan!

Murid : UMNO!

Cikgu : Salah!

Murid : Betul!

Cikgu : Bodoh!

Murid : Pandai!

Cikgu : Bukan!

Murid : Ya!

Cikgu : Oh Tuhan!

Murid : Oh Hamba!

Cikgu : Dengar ini!

Murid : Dengar itu!

Cikgu : Diam!

Murid : Bising!

Cikgu : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!

Murid : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!

Cikgu : Mati aku!

Murid : Hidup kami!

Cikgu : Rotan baru tau!

Murid : Akar lama tak tau!

Cikgu : Malas aku ajar kamu!

Murid : Rajin kami belajar cikgu!
Cikgu : Kamu gila!

Murid : Kami siuman!

Cikgu : Cukup! Cukup!

Murid : Kurang! Kurang!

Cikgu : Sudah! Sudah!

Murid : Belum! Belum!

Cikgu : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?

Murid : Sebab saya seorang pandai!

Cikgu : Oh! Melawan!

Murid : Oh! Mengalah!

Cikgu : Kurang ajar!

Murid : Cukup ajar!

Cikgu : Habis aku!

Murid : Kekal kami!

Cikgu : O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis!

Murid : K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula!

Cikgu : Sudah, bodoh!

Murid : Belum, pandai!
Cikgu : Berdiri!

Murid : Duduk!

Cikgu : Saya kata UMNO salah!

Murid : Kami dengar KeADILan betul!

Cikgu : Bangang kamu ni!

Murid : Cerdik kami tu!

Cikgu : Rosak!

Murid : Baik!

Cikgu : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!

Murid : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu!

Cikgu : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.)

Joke number 3
"How to write a Letter to your Boss for Salary Raise"

Dear Bo$$

In thi
$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$of u$worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am
$ure you will gue$$what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your
$ $incerely,



The next day, you received this letter of reply :




Oh my dear:


I k
NOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet .

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the
NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have
NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

Manager

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!!!!!ROFL!!!! WHAT THE FISH !!!!!AHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!! NICE!!!

Melody Yew said...

ahahahahhaahahhahahahahahahahahaha

faint in laughter*